Whose seishi is it anyway?
by TnM aka Touya no miko
Summary: A crossover of Whose line is it anyway and Fushigi Yuugi. Please help me with the songs, like the hoedown,irish drinking song, and stuff? I'm no good. If you do then I will let you be in small parts of the fic.
1. Insanity!

A/N Hey everyone! This is my next Fushigi Yuugi fic. It's a crossover of Whose Line is it Anyway? I decided to make this, because I didn't find any whose line fics in the Fushigi Yuugi section, except hoedowns. Oh, yeah can some of you help me with the music, like hoedowns, Irish drinking song, and other stuff? If you do than I will give you a chance to be in this fic and give you credit. But the parts of you guys being in this fic is kind of small. This my first Whose line fic, so don't blame me if it's bad. Not, that some this isn't exactly my original work. I do not own anything. On with the fic!  
  
(Camera closes in on Drew Carey.)  
  
Drew Carey: Good evening everyone and welcome to Whose line is it anyway? Tonight's cast is "Don't call me Obake-chan!" Tamahome! "Rekka Shinen!" Tasuki! "I am so beautiful." Hotohori! And "No da!" Chichiri. And I'm your host Drew Carey.Come on down and let's have some fun!  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
Drew Carey: Welcome to the show where the point don't matter. That's right the points don't matter just like Tamahome's love for Miaka.  
  
Tamahome: Hey!  
  
Drew: What's going to happen tonight is our performers are going to be coming up here and totally make things up based on suggestions form the audience and ourselves. And I'll be rewarding points, depending on how good they do. At the end of the game the winner gets to do something special with me.  
  
Audience: *cheers and hoots*  
  
The Four Seishis: *looks nervous*  
  
Drew Carey: Okay, let's start with a game called "Let's make a date". Hotohori you are on a dating show and you have to pick between the other three, who are given strange identity or characteristics. At the end you have to guess who they are. Whenever you're ready.  
  
(Tamahome looks at his card and then chuckles, Tasuki frowns at his card, and Chichiri kind of laughs at his.)  
  
Hotohori: *high girlish voice* Bachelor number 1?  
  
Tamahome: [Kouji talking to himself] Knock, knock. Who's there? Why it's the lovable blue haired bandit on the dating show. Oh, why do come in. Thank you!  
  
Hotohori: What's your idea of a perfect date?  
Tamahome: I don't know what do you think, sir? Well, mine would be going on raids and drinking sake! Oh, sounds like fun! Hell yeah it's fun especially picking up the chicks.  
  
Hotohori: *looks at him weird* Okay, Bachelor number two?  
  
Tasuki: [Woman on PMS, whose jealous at every girl who has a boyfriend] What?  
  
Hotohori: I love when guys give me gifts, what would you give me?  
  
Tasuki: *angrily* I don't know! Guys don't give me gifts! You didn't have to rub it in my face you know! *cries* I'm so lonely! I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell at you. I just-*breaks down and cries* (a/n This kind of reminds me of myself. O_o;)  
  
Hotohori: Ooookay, Bachelor Number three?  
  
Chichiri: [Rapid Japanese Tourist] Hai!  
  
Hotohori: I love to travel, do you?  
  
Chichiri: Oh, Fuji-Yama! *pretends to take pictures all over the place* Sugoi, no da! *speaks random Japanese*  
  
Hotohori: *sweatdrops* Um, Bachelor number 1? What do you like about girls?  
  
Tamahome: I mostly like girls, because of their sexy body. But no one can resist your body! I know girls can't come near me without fainting. *giggles* Oh, you got that right great bandit leader.  
  
Hotohori: *laughs* Bachelor number three. What do you think is more important, inner beauty or outer beauty?  
  
Tasuki: *angrily* All they ever care about is how you look! You only get guys, because you dress like a royal tramp! *smacks Hotohori across the face*  
  
Hotohori: O_O  
  
Tasuki: *cries* I'M SO SORRY!!!  
  
Chichiri: Oh, Drew Carey-san! *takes 'pictures' of Drew*  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Drew: *BUZZ* Okay, Hotohori can you guess who they are?  
  
Hotohori: Tamahome is Kouji talking to himself.  
  
Tamahome: *beams*  
  
Drew: *BUZZ* Correct!  
  
Hotohori: Tasuki is a hormone crazed woman who can't get a man.  
  
Drew: *BUZZ* Yes!  
  
Tasuki: *mutters something about killing a show host*  
  
Hotohori: And Chichiri is a Japanese tourist.  
  
Chchiri: *also beams*  
  
Drew: *BUZZ* Right!  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
(The four go back to their seats.)  
  
Drew: A thousand points to all of you, except Tasuki who gets a hundred.  
  
Tasuki: Hey! You cheap bastard!  
  
Chichiri: Relax, Tasuki, no da. The points don't matter.  
  
Drew: Next is a game called "Scenes from a hat". This all for all four of you. Before the show we asked the audience to write stuff down on these pieces of paper. I will pull slips from my famous out and whatever is on it you guys have to act it out.  
  
(Tasuki and Tamahome are on the left and Chichiri and Hotohori is on the right.)  
  
Drew: Let's start with "Ways to make Tamahome angry."  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
(Tasuki and Tamahome both go in the center.)  
  
Tasuki: *points at Tamahome* HAHAHA!!! Obake-chan!  
  
Tamahome: *twitch* DIE!!! *lunges at him and they start to brawl*  
  
Drew: *sigh* I was afraid this would happen. SECURITY!!!  
  
(Nuriko comes out and breaks the two up, using his super human strength.)  
  
Drew: Thanks Nuriko.  
  
Nuriko: No problem! *leaves*  
  
Drew: "Things you shouldn't say or do to Suzaku"  
  
Tamahome: *steps up* Oh, a giant chicken! *pretends to stab Suzaku and drag his dead body* This will surely feed Miaka!  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Hotohori: *steps up* So you're Suzaku? I'm way more beautiful than you.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Drew: *laughs* "Nakago's daily schedule"  
  
Chichiri: *writes down something* 9:00 Have breakfast. 9:30 Torture victims. 10:30 Manipulate Yui and seishis. 12:00 Screw with Soi...  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Drew: "Least checked out library books"  
  
Tasuki: Hm? "How to make money" by Tamahome.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Chichiri: Oh. "Nakago's autobiography"  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Drew: "Things that would cause a Whose Line is it anyway spin off."  
  
(Tamahome and Hotohori both stepped up.)  
  
Tamahome: *grabs Hotohori and proceeds to 'make out' with him*  
  
Audience: *cheers and applause*  
  
*BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ*  
  
Drew: Ten thousand points to Chichiri and Tasuki. A hundred thousand points to Tamahome and Hotohori for that...amusing display you did. I'm gonna have to wash my eyes out after seeing that.  
  
(Tamahome pours himself a glass of water and swishes the water in his mouth, then spits it back in the cup. Hotohori gurgles the water in his mouth and swallows it.)  
  
Drew: Next is a game called "Props". You guys will be divided into two groups. Tasuki and Tamahome! *tosses them two round foam spheres with red balls on one end* Chichiri and Hotohori! *tosses them two yellow pom-pom thingys* Let's start with Tamahome and Tasuki.  
  
Tasuki: *holds both props on his head* Tamahome...  
  
Tamahome: Miaka...  
  
Tasuki: Tamahome...  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Chichiri: *hands him the pom-poms* So how did that routine go again, cheerleading captain?  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
(Tasuki hold both props on the side of Tamahome's head.)  
  
Tamahome: *poses* I'm Sailor Moon! The champion of justice!  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Hotohori: *puts pom-poms under his armpits* Do you like French women?  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Tasuki: *puts prop on face*  
  
Tamahome: Man, that is one huge zit.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Chichiri: *puts one of the props on head* Maybe I shouldn't have grown this afro, no da.  
  
*BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ*  
  
Drew: We'll be back after this commercial, so don't go anywhere!  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
A/N Okay, not that great I know. I'm trying as hard as I can. What more do you want with me?! *ahem* Please R&R and also give me a few suggestions on what to do in this fic, okay? 


	2. More fun!

A/N Hi, everyone this is a new chapter. On the next chapter I'm gonna do "Irish drinking song," "Unlikely Super heroes" and the one where you sing a song for a person from the audience. I'm going to need help on "Irish drinking song" and the last one I mentioned, and you can pick what the seishis's super hero name is going to be and a crisis. The topic for the Irish drinking song is "A trip to the whore house" Thank you Kouryou for that idea! Please e-mail me if you have ideas and I will give you credit for it. For the one last on singing a song for an audience member it has to be in the style of THTC. Pick any topic you want! I do not own anything!  
  
(Camera closes in on Drew)  
  
Drew: Hello and welcome back to the show where the points don't matter. Next will be a game called "Weird Newscasters" This is for all four of you. Chichiri is going to be the anchorman of a local news program and Tasuki, Tamahome, and Hotohori are the co-presenters and each of them has an odd character. Tasuki, is your co-anchor, who is a ditzy valley girl cheerleader.  
  
Tasuki: Hey, why do I always play the woman?!  
  
Drew: Because it's fun. Hotohori you are the weatherman, who is fighting the urge of being a stripper.  
  
Hotohori: O_o;;;;;  
  
Tamahome: *laughs* Don't feel bad Hotohori.  
  
Drew: And Tamahome you are the sports guy, who is a stock market trader, watching his life savings disappear.  
  
Tamahome: WHAT?  
  
Drew: Relax it's not real. Though that be pretty funny if that really happened.  
  
Tamahome: *glares daggers at Drew*  
  
Drew: Whenever you hear the music, begin.  
  
(Weird news music.)  
  
Chichiri: Hello and welcome to the 6:00 news. I'm Jim Boxers and with the national news here's Yura Idiot. Yura?  
  
Tasuki: [Is a ditzy valley girl cheerleader] *scowls then face turns into a clueless look* Um, I don't like get what you're like saying. I so don't have like time for this. I like gotta go to the like cheerleading practice and I will be like totally late if I don't like make it, like okay?  
  
Chichiri: *sweatdrops* Um, right. This just in, Michael Jackson's nose has suddenly caved in after his 50th surgery.  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Chichiri: Now let's move on to the weather with Tom Sixpack. Tom?  
  
Hotohori: [Is fighting the urge of being a stripper] Well, Jim it's going to be pretty hot in this climate. *points to invisible screen**looks at audience seductively* Really hot actually. In fact it's pretty hot in here. *wipes forehead and makes motions of unbuttoning his shirt* But it's really hot down in this climate. *bends down slowly*  
  
Audience: *hollers and hoots*  
  
Chichiri: Okay, this just in. I'm not wearing any boxers.  
  
Chichiri fan girls: *swoons and faints*  
  
(Hotohori goes up to the audience and does a little dance for the ladies as they stuff dollars in his pants. a/n LMAO!)  
  
Tasuki: *stands up* Like ready? Like okay! *does cheerleading dance* That's all right! That's okay! You're gonna pump our gas someday! Because we're the best! And we beat the rest! Like for sure! *does a flip and lands in a split with his arms up in the air*  
  
Audience: *cheers and applause*  
  
Chichiri: Now we're moving on to sports with Bob Broke. Bob?  
  
Tamahome: [Stock market trader, who watches as he life savings disappear] Well, as you the Lakers have made a great game. Just like my savings. Now if I look at my new pager I'll see as it goes-*stops suddenly* Hm? That's weird my savings are going down. OH DEAR GOD NO!!!  
  
Hotohori: *pretends to take off his clothes and starts dancing*  
  
Tamahome: *sobs* Oh, no! What am I going to do? How will I be able to feed the kids? *cries*  
  
Chichiri: Well that's it for the 6:00 news. Tune in for the 10:00 news. Thank you and goodbye.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Drew: Okay a hundred points each. Next is a game called "Whose Line" Can you believe that? We actually have a game called "Whose Line". This for Tamahome and Chichiri. And before each show, we have the audience write stuff down. We have them supply some random lines. Take them out of the envelope and put them in your pockets. And the scene is Chichiri and Tamahome are in a war and Tamahome is dying in Chichiri's arms. And off you go.  
  
(Chichiri is holding Tamahome in his arms, as Tamahome makes coughing sounds.)  
  
Tamahome: *cough* *cough* *hack* Pardon me.  
  
Chichiri: *disgusted* It's okay, no da.  
  
Tamahome: Chichiri, I'm not going to make it.  
  
Chichiri: No, you can't go, no da!  
  
Tamahome: Heh, I was expecting this sooner or later. I remember when I use to train with my master. He would always say *takes out slip* "Cheese is good, eat more of it."  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Chichiri: If only we had some cheese right now, no da. You know it's like I always say *takes out slip* "I want chicken. I want liver. Meow Mix, Meow Mix, please deliver."  
  
(Hotohori and Tasuki are laughing hard in the background.)  
  
Tamahome: But the enemy will be coming to our territory. When you see them yell out this to the soldiers *takes out slip* "The Nyan-Nyans are coming! The Nyan-Nyans are coming!"  
  
Audience: *laughs hard*  
  
Chichiri: *shakes head* Who knew that a bunch of Nyan-Nyans were so blood thirsty.  
  
Tamahome: *cough* Chichiri send this message to my wife. *takes out slip* "I'm sorry I couldn't give you any hot lovin' tonight."  
  
Audience: *cheers and hoots*  
  
Tamahome: Goodbye my friend. *dies*  
  
Chichiri: *drops him* Oh, no! He is dead! Now I will say his words of wisdom in honor of his death, no da. *takes out slip* "I am woman, hear me roar!"  
  
Audience: *cheers wildly*  
  
*BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ*  
  
Drew: That was great. A thousand points each. Now we will move on to a game called "Helping Hands". This is for Chichiri, Tamahome, and Tasuki. The scene is that Tamahome is a football players, and Chichiri his coach is giving him advice on how to have a healthy diet. You can see the food on the table. Now Chichiri is not allowed to use his hands, Tasuki will do that for him. Now start.  
  
(Chichiri wraps his arms behind himself and Tasuki left his arms to stick out.)  
  
Tamahome: *wearing a jersey and football helmet* So coach can you tell me how to eat right.  
  
Chichiri: *wearing cap and jacket* Well son, a good way to stay healthy is eating healthy foods! Like this banana! *Tasuki picks up banana* Bananas are good for potassium.  
  
Tasuki: *peels banana and stuffs it in Chichiri's mouth*  
  
Chichiri: *chewing while talking* Yes, bananas are good for you, but this banana is not quite ripe yet. *spits chewed up bananas in Tasuki's hand*  
  
Audience: EEEEEEEWWWW!!!!  
  
Tasuki: Ew, Chichiri that was gross! *dumps it in a bowl and wipes hands on Chichiri's jacket*  
  
Tamahome: Really, coach? Well, what about this? *points to orange*  
  
Chichiri: An orange! *Tasuki feels his way for oranges and picks one up* Oranges are very good for vitamin C. And if you got three whole oranges you can work out your arms by juggling them.  
  
Tasuki: *picks up two more oranges*  
  
Chichiri: Let's see if I could still do this! Watch! *sings a circus song* Ya da da da da da da da da da...  
  
Tasuki: *juggles oranges perfectly*  
  
Audience: *cheers and applause*  
  
Chichiri: And another thing that's good about oranges. Instead of a mouth guard you can use an orange peel!  
  
(Tasuki puts an orange peel in the front part of Chichiri's mouth..)  
  
Chichiri: *muffled* You see. *spits it in Tasuki's hands, who throws it away*  
  
Tamahome: Well, what else is good?  
  
Chichiri: Hm, let me think. *Tasuki rubs Chichiri's chin*  
  
Tamahome: How about this apple? *holds up apple*  
  
Chichiri: Yes, that's good too! *bites into apple* An apple a day keeps the doctor away! *spits chewed up apple in Tasuki's hand*  
  
Tasuki: Stop doing that! *dumps it in bowl and wipes hands*  
  
(In the back, Hotohori is trying not to laugh, but fails.)  
  
Chichiri: Want some? *offers bitten apple*  
  
Tamahome: *looks sick* No thanks.  
  
Chichiri: And milk! Milk has calcium, which gives you strong bones!  
  
(Tasuki feels for the milk and finds it. He pours a glass, and spills some while doing so.)  
  
Chichiri: Would you like some?  
  
Tamahome: Uh, no.  
  
Chichiri: OKAY! *Tasuki's hands shot up and milk got all over Chichiri's face* Ah, good old milk!  
  
*BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ*  
  
Drew: *laughs* We'll be back with Whose line is it anyway, so don't go away!  
  
A/N Okay please help me with the songs like in the author's note above! R&R! 


	3. We're back!

A/N Help me with the songs please! I like to give credit to the people who helped me out. I do not own anything, so on with fic!  
  
(Camera closes up on Drew Carey.)  
  
Drew: Hello and welcome back to 'Whose line is it anyway' the show where the points don't matter. That's right they don't matter, just like swimming lessons are to Tasuki.  
  
Tasuki: DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?!  
  
Drew: Anyway, next we'll play a game called 'Superheroes' this for all four of you. You're going to act out a scene, as unlikely superheroes. Tasuki, you're going to start. And then Tamahome, Hotohori, and Chichiri are going to come in and they're each going to name each other with different superhero names as they come in. And what I need from the audience is a suggestion for Tasuki's superhero name.  
  
(Audience yells suggestions)  
  
Water Sprite: Pyro Boy!  
  
Drew: *scratches head* I don't see the difference from what he is now, but okay. Okay, now we need a crisis.  
  
DragonGoddess: The world's supply of sake has mysteriously disappeared!  
  
Tasuki: *falls on knees* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO...*it keeps going*  
  
Tamahome: Man, that's gotta be the longest 'No' anyone has every yelled out.  
  
Chichiri: *whacks Tasuki*  
  
Tasuki: *stops*  
  
Drew: Okay, begin.  
  
Tasuki: *pretends to light stuff on fire* La la la la la! I love fire! La la la la la! *looks at crisis screen* Great blazing fires of hell! The world's supply of sake has disappeared! I got to get it back! Do you know how flammable the stuff is? *light's crisis screen on fire*  
  
Tamahome: Sorry I'm late! Nobodies drunk today.  
  
Tasuki: Thank the flames of Hades you're here Random Man!  
  
Tamahome: *scratches head thinking on what to do* I want a cookie! *runs around bumping into stuff then pretends he's flying*  
  
Hotohori: Sorry for keeping you guys waiting. Have you notice how many people are driving safely today?  
  
Tamahome: knaht dog er'uoy ereh, ekaM pu dna kaerB pu dik!  
  
Hotohori: *raises eyebrow*  
  
Tasuki: *pretends to light the chairs on fire* He said, 'Thank god you're here, Make up and Break up kid!' (a/n Yes, I stole this from Whose line. I couldn't think of anything.)  
  
Hotohori: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?! I'm sorry. *hugs Tamahome* Get off me! *shoves him off* Give me a hug. *hugs him again*  
  
Chichiri: I came here as fast I could! Everyone is sober today. That mean drunk wasn't so mean and drunk at all!  
  
Hotohori: Who the hell are you?! Oh, glad you're here Imaginary friend boy.  
  
Chichiri: *pretends to talk to someone* Yes, I know Mr. Smoogle, all the sake is gone. Yes, we are going to get it back.  
  
Tamahome: Pink monkeys! *punches himself*  
  
Chichiri: Yes, I know Mr. Bon-bon I think Tamahome is hot too.  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Chichiri: Hey, Pyro Boy! Mr. No Da said why don't we just give away the supply of sake in your closet.  
  
Tasuki: But I need to use it to light fires!  
  
Chichiri: Mr. Yam said to do it or we'll kick your ass and get the fire hose.  
  
Tasuki: DONE!!!  
  
Tamahome: Sayonara, I must do more Random stuff! *pretends to have a rocket strapped to his back and blast off*  
  
Hotohori: So long you losers! Goodbye friends. *walks away*  
  
Chichiri: We got to go. Let's go everyone. *drags imaginary friends away*  
  
Tasuki: Great I'm all alone. Oh well. *pretends to light match and set whole building on fire*  
  
*BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ*  
  
Drew: Great, a thousand points to all of you. Next is a game called "Quick Change". This is for all four of you. In this scene Hotohori is the owner of a Hotel for tourist. Tasuki and Tamahome are entertainers for the hotel. Hotohori doesn't like their act so much and tries to get them to liven up more. Now Chichiri is going to be standing aside and whenever he says "Change" you guys have to do a different action or say something else. Ready and go.  
  
Tasuki: Helloooooo...All you tourist out there!  
  
Tamahome: We're here to sing a song just for you guys! Are you ready Tasuki?  
  
Tasuki: You bet I am!  
  
Tamahome: *sings* Tasuki, can you handle this?  
  
Tasuki: Tamahome, can you handle this?  
  
Tasuki and Tamahome: I don't think you can handle this, because my body is too bootylicious for you baby!  
  
Chichiri: Change, no da.  
  
Tasuki and Tamahome: It's getting hot in here so take off all your clothes!  
  
Chichiri: Change, no da.  
  
Tasuki: I'm not a girl!  
  
Tamahome: Not yet a woman!  
  
Hotohori: *comes in* Excuse me?  
  
Tasuki: All I need is time!  
  
Tamahome: A moment that is mine!  
  
Hotohori: *louder* Excuse me?  
  
Tasuki and Tamahome: When I'm in between!  
  
Hotohori: EXCUSE ME!!!  
  
Tasuki: *looks at him* What?  
  
Hotohori: I'm the owner of this Hotel and I just want to say that you're performance was not so bad.  
  
Chichiri: Change, no da.  
  
Hotohori: Your performance needs work.  
  
Chichiri: Change, no da.  
  
Hotohori: It sucks.  
  
Tasuki: Hey, what do you mean it sucks? For your damn information the tourist mostly come here to see us.  
  
Hotohori: But we aren't getting enough and maybe you guys should try to make your singing a little better.  
  
Chichiri: Change, no da  
  
Hotohori: Get some lessons, because you're terrible singers.  
  
Tamahome: *gasp* How dare you! *slaps Hotohori*  
  
Chichiri: Change, no da.  
  
Tamahome: *gasp* How dare you! *kicks Hotohori*  
  
Chichiri: Change, no da.  
  
Tamahome: *punches Hotohori*  
  
Chichiri: *snickers* Change, no da.  
  
Tamahome: *kicks him in the groin*  
  
Hotohori: O_O *crumples to the ground hold his crotch* That was uncalled for.  
  
Tamahome: *whispers* Sorry, I was aiming for your guts, if it makes you happy.  
  
Tasuki: Come on Tamahome, we don't need this. So long Hotohori! *walks away*  
  
Chichiri: Change, no da.  
  
Tasuki: *comes back* F*ck off. *walks away*  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
*BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ*  
  
Drew: We'll be back so don't go anywhere!  
  
A/N Please help me with the songs! 


	4. I'm the new host!

A/N Sorry for the long update, but I finally came up with an Irish drinking song. It's not very good, but it's the best I could do. Um, note Reikakku Bandit Girl. I might be changing the hoedown a bit. It was good, but I just want to change Tamahome and Tasuki's parts. On with the fic!  
  
---*---  
  
TnM: Hello everyone and welcome back to Whose line is it anyway!  
  
Tasuki: Hey! Who the hell are you?  
  
TnM: I got tired of just sitting at my computer, so I decided to do the hosting!  
  
Chichiri: But what happen to Drew, no da?  
  
TnM: He's tied up and gagged right now in a broom closet. So anyway, as your new host I will be giving out the points and all that crap.  
  
Tamahome: We're doomed.  
  
TnM: Anyway, let's get start on a game called 'Party Quirks'. This is for Hotohori you're gonna be hosting a party, and Tamahome, Tasuki, and Chichiri, you're gonna be the guests. Each of you has a strange quirk or identity that's written in these envelopes. This is the first time they've ever seen them, and, Hotohori has to do is guess what the quirks are. Ah, so Hotohori, why don't you come over and start the party? Tamahome, Tasuki, and Chichiri, you line up over there, and I'll buzz you in with the doorbell here? And whenever you're ready, Hotohori, start the party.  
  
Hotohori: Okay, I got dips and chips, I have enough beer-  
  
*DING DONG* *DING DONG*  
  
Hotohori: Oh that must be the guest! *opens fake door* Why hello Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: [Is fighting bad guys in slow motion] Hello there-*gets knocked over like he was punched then gets back up* *punches the air and does a round house kick in slow motion*  
  
Hotohori: Um, the food is over there.  
  
*DING DONG* *DING DONG*  
  
Hotohori: *opens fake door* Tasuki! Glad you came!  
  
Tasuki: [Austin Powers] *cheap British accent* Hello there, I hope you didn't invite Dr. Evil and his fembots. The party looks groovy-Oh my Lord! *runs up to Tamahome, kicks him and grabs his hair*  
  
Hotohori: What are you doing to Tamahome?! O_O  
  
Tasuki: It's not Tamahome it's a WOMAN baby! *tries to pull Tama's hair off*  
  
Tamahome: *punches Tasuki with his fist and continues to fight slow motion*  
  
Hotohori: I see you're fighting guys in slow motion.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Tamahome: *goes back to seat*  
  
*DING DONG* *DING DONG*  
  
Hotohori: *opens fake door*  
  
Chichiri: [Tasuki] Hey! Where the *beep* did you put the *beepin'* sake?!  
  
Hotohori: Glad you could make it Tasuki.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Chichiri: *goes back to seat*  
  
Tasuki: Excuse me, but aren't there any girls here to shag? My mojo needs some excitement.  
  
Hotohori: I never did like the movie Austin Powers.  
  
*BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ*  
  
TnM: All right, a hundred points for Hotohori and a thousand for Tamahome, because I love him.  
  
Tamahome: Am I getting paid for this?  
  
TnM: No.  
  
Tamahome: *pouts*  
  
TnM: Now it's time for everyone's favorite 'Irish drinking song'! This for all four of you. Now we'll need a topic. What will it be?  
  
(Audience shout out some suggestions.)  
  
Kouryou Sanomi: A trip to the whorehouse!  
  
TnM: Okay, a trip to the whorehouse. Now we will be needing a piano player, Kouryou Sanomi come on down!  
  
Kouryou Sanomi: Yay! (a/n Note to Kouryou. I not sure if you play the piano or not, but in this fic you do.)  
  
TnM: All right boys, the topic is a trip to the whorehouse, take it away!  
  
(Music Plays)  
  
All: OH! Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi! Oh Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi!  
  
Tamahome: I went to the whorehouse  
  
Hotohori: To have a little fun  
  
Chichiri: The place was really big  
  
Tasuki: And the women had nice buns  
  
Tamahome: I looked around the room  
  
Hotohori: For the perfect ho  
  
Chichiri: But some weren't available  
  
Tasuki: Because they were putting on a show!  
  
All: OH! Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi!  
  
Tamahome: Some women were screwing around  
  
Hotohori: Some were doing a striptease  
  
Chichiri: Others were in some rooms  
  
Tasuki: Doing as the customers pleased!  
  
Tamahome: Inside this one room  
  
Hotohori: A whore was screwing a guy  
  
Chichiri: What was really amazing though  
  
Tasuki: She did it while eating pie!  
  
All: OH! Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi!  
  
Tamahome: I met a familiar whore  
  
Hotohori: I recognized her face  
  
Chichiri: There was no doubt about it  
  
Tasuki: I knew her from some place!  
  
Tamahome: The whore was actually  
  
Hotohori: The Seiryuu seishi Soi  
  
Chichiri: She was screwing Nakago  
  
Tasuki: And riding him like a cowboy!  
  
All: Oh, Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi Oh Aiediedidiedidie di die di die di die!  
  
*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*  
  
TnM: All right, a million points to all of you and an extra hundred points to Tasuki for the cowboy thing. Let's go on to a game... oh, I think I know just the people for this one. This is for Tasuki and Tamahome, and the game is called 'Moving People.' And let's wander on up into the audience right here. We're going to find you and you. Come on down. What's your name?  
  
Miaka: *eating Popcorn* Oh, I'm Miaka!  
  
TnM: Miaka, nice to meet you, and you do know that you're not suppose to bring food here right?  
  
Miaka: I'm not?  
  
TnM: No.  
  
Miaka: Okay, I'll just put it away.  
  
TnM: Now for another person, how about you? What's your name?  
  
Mitsukake: Mitsukake.  
  
TnM: Mitsukake. Miaka and Mitsukake come on down. Pick out your favorite improver. We're going to play a game called Moving People. And if you haven't seen this before, they're like mannequins. They can't move unless you move them. So you can put them in any position you want right now. So go ahead, put them in any position you want.  
  
(Miaka bends both of Tamahome's arms to stick out forward, but also away from his sides. She then bends Tamahome forward by the waist. Mitsukake places Tasuki's right hand on his neck and moves his left leg forward. He places his left hand on his hip.)  
  
TnM: Okay, that's good right there, we'll start like that. The game's called 'Moving People', and the scene is, Tasuki and Tamahome, you're two surfers who are fighting over a girl, and you've challenged each other to ride the big wave. Can't move unless you move them, so go ahead, guys.  
  
(Tamahome is moved to stand upright again)  
  
Tamahome: I'm buffing my surfboard.  
  
Tasuki: You'd better catch up, buddy, I'm already on the wave. *his left hand is extended forward* And my pulse is racing. *he is turned to his left* Dig these moves. *his right hand is extended back*  
  
(Tamahome's left hand is raised up, palm out, and he is turned toward Tasuki)  
  
Tamahome: You think it's easy surfing on the palm... on the... I don't have a board and I'm surfing. I'm going to put my board in the water right now.  
  
Tasuki: *Tasuki's hands are put on his rear end* My butt could not be tighter.  
  
Tamahome: All right, watch me jump right onto my board! When I say "jump." *his right leg is moved forward*  
  
Tasuki: *left hand is placed on his stomach* Stop. You're making my side hurt. All right, Jim, you want a competition?  
  
Tamahome: All right.  
  
Tasuki: I'll race you to the beach. First one there gets Susan.  
  
Tamahome: All right.  
  
Miaka: Hey, who's Susan?!  
  
Tamahome: Relax Miaka, it's only pretend.  
  
Miaka: Oh, okay!  
  
Tasuki: And I'm not even going to look at you when I tell you that. *his legs are slowly moved forward*  
  
Tamahome: What do you say we head out there?  
  
Tasuki: Which way's that, my friend?  
  
Tamahome: *right arm points to the right*  
  
Tasuki: Oh.  
  
Tamahome: Not where I'm looking, but where I'm pointing. *his head is turned to the right*  
  
Tasuki: Over there. *Head is turned that way*  
  
Tamahome: *right leg is moved out to the right, his left leg is moved, and his right leg is moved again onto the step* Bet you've never seen this style before.  
  
(Tasuki's right arm is moved to push Tamahome)  
  
Tamahome: Hey, what are you doing?  
  
Tasuki: It's called cheating, my friend. I'm pushing you off my board.  
  
Tamahome: *left arm knocks Tasuki's arm down* No pushing. Hey, watch it, I can take you.  
  
(Tasuki's right hand is extended outward, with his fingers pointed at Tamahome.)  
  
Tasuki: *right hand is extended outward, with his fingers pointed at Tamahome* Oh yeah? I've got a gun with four barrels. *right hand is extended outward, with his fingers pointed at Tamahome*  
  
Tamahome: Well, watch this move. *he is bent to the side, away from Tasuki's hand*  
  
Tasuki: Man, right out of my range.  
  
Tamahome: Now... *right leg is lifted, swung around in the air, and placed on the ground so he is facing Tasuki*  
  
Tasuki: This is called my Elvis, buddy. *his left arm is lifted to the same height as his right* And it's that long.  
  
Tamahome: *Tamahome's left leg is lifted in the air and plopped down closer to Tasuki* I'm coming right onto your board and I'm knocking you off. *his left hand is placed on Tasuki's chest*  
  
Tasuki: Shh. Speak no more. Quiet. *his right hand is placed on Tamahome's ear* Can you hear that? I can hear the ocean in your head. *his left hand is placed on Tamahome's other ear*  
  
Tamahome: * right hand is placed to hold Tasuki's nose* Sorry, I just had to see if that was real.  
  
Audience: *laughs and cheers*  
  
*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*  
  
TnM: We'll be back to Whose Line is it anyway, so don't go anywhere! Heh, I always wanted to say that. 


	5. Craziness!

A/N Hi, sorry for the long update. I got a little lazy and I was busy working on my other fics, so here is the next chapter. Please enjoy this fic and I would like to give credit to the people who helped me. On with the fic!  
  
---*---  
  
TnM: Hello and welcome back to 'Whose line is it Anyway? The show where the points don't matter. That's right the points don't matter, just like...I don't know Hotohori's looks maybe? Let's go to a game called 'Questions only' this is for all four of you.  
  
(All four of them walk down)  
  
TnM: Now here is how you play the game, starting out with Tasuki and Chichiri, you guys are going to start out the game. They're only allowed to ask questions, and if they can't, I'm going to buzz them out. The scene is you're in a bar. You can only speak in questions, so go ahead.  
  
Chichiri: *pretends he's mixing a drink, while whistling* So what can I get you, no da?  
  
Tasuki: Is this a bar?  
  
Chichiri: Can't you tell, no da?  
  
Tasuki: Do you have any sake?  
  
Chichiri: Aren't you underage?  
  
Tasuki: No, I'm old enough.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Tasuki: Ah, sh*t.  
  
(Tamahome walks down.)  
  
Tamahome: Hey, are you the new bartender?  
  
Chichiri: *points at his chest* Can't you read the nametag, no da?  
  
Tamahome: Are you that one guy who's been imitating himself as a bartender?  
  
Chichiri: Um...no da?  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Hotohori: *walks down* Is that a stick in your pants?  
  
Tamahome: What do you think it is?  
  
Hotohori: How big is your stick?  
  
Tamahome: Uh...*cracks up and walks back to where he was  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Tasuki: *steps down* Did you see the guy with a stick in his pants?  
  
Hotohori: Did you see how big his stick was?  
  
Tasuki: Did you *beep* the guy with the stick in his pants?  
  
Hotohori: O_O;;;; *stares at Tasuki and laughs*  
  
*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*  
  
TnM: Sorry guys, but I had to stop you, because this is starting to become a yaoi fest and we have to keep this PG-13. 10 million points to all of you. Now let's go to a game called 'Song Styles' and this is for all four of you and with my friend Sara, Water Sprite, and Cloud Fairy doing the music!  
  
Water Sprite: Thank you for putting us in your fic!  
  
Sara: Hotohori-sama, I love you!  
  
Hotohori: *smiles and sparkles at her* Thank you.  
  
Sara: *swoons*  
  
Cloud Fairy: Hey, don't faint on us Sara.  
  
TnM: Now let's bring our special guest to our show. Please welcome Miaka Yuuki!  
  
Audience: *cheers and applause*  
  
Miaka: *walks in* Hey everyone!  
  
TnM: Okay boys, you are going to sing a song to Miaka in the style of THTC!  
  
Audience: *cheers loudly*  
  
TnM: I know all you girls are going to enjoy this! So let's start now!  
  
Tasuki: We are THTC! We're all fired up!  
  
Chichiri: Hey Tasuki, no time for introductions! We have to sing a song for Miaka, no da!  
  
(Rock music begins to play.)  
  
All four: We are Suzaku seishis and you're the Suzaku no Miko  
  
Protecting you from danger is our job!  
  
Hotohori: Must I sing this song again?  
  
Tasuki: Yeah, we got to sing this for Miaka!  
  
Hotohori: Of course, we have to show how much we appreciate her.  
  
Chichiri: Plus, we have don't want the author mad, no da.  
  
Hotohori: Hmmm, that is right.  
  
Tamahome: Oh! It's time for me to sing!  
  
Tamahome: *singing* When I first met you, I thought you were strange  
  
You were a klutz and a pig  
  
Miaka: *frowns*  
  
Tamahome: But then later on, I started to fall in love with you  
  
Miaka: *smiles*  
  
Hotohori: I was lonely, I had nobody to love  
  
But then you came to Konan  
  
Ever since that day, you showed me what true love is like  
  
Miaka: Aw, that's so sweet.  
  
Hotohori and Chichiri: It was like a dream when you came here  
  
We never wanted to wake up from it  
  
Tamahome and Tasuki: Even though you were somewhat annoying  
  
Miaka: WHAT?!  
  
Tamahome and Tasuki: *tries to cover it up* Uh...But we were still able to love you!  
  
All: We're the Suzaku seishis and you're the Suzaku no Miko!  
  
Tamahome: I will always love you forever!  
  
All: We will protect you from the Seiryuu seishis  
  
Protecting you from danger is our job!  
  
Tasuki: You know I have to admit, you're a better miko  
  
You're much better then that bitch Yui (a/n No offense Yui fans, but I absolutely HATE Yui.)  
  
Without you, I wouldn't have been the person I am  
  
Chichiri: You stayed cheerful, no matter what the crisis  
  
You always think of others and hardly yourself  
  
At first you were childish, but then you became quite a lady  
  
Hotohori and Chichiri: Even though the journeys were really tough  
  
You always stayed strong and you never gave up  
  
Tamahome and Tasuki: We would do anything to protect you  
  
We would gladly die for only you  
  
All: We're the Suzaku seishis and you're the Suzaku no Miko!  
  
Chichiri: We won't ever leave you behind!  
  
All: 'Yes' we will protect you 'No' we won't leave you  
  
Protecting you from danger is our job!  
  
We're the Suzaku seishis and you're the Suzaku no Miko  
  
Protecting you from danger is our job!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(End song)  
  
*BUZZ* BUZZ* *BUZZ*  
  
Audience: *cheers and applause*  
  
TnM: That was wonderful guys! Miaka thank you for coming here!  
  
Miaka: It's not a problem. I'm just glad I have some fans out there. I'll be going now!  
  
(Miaka gives a hug and kiss to her seishis before she leaves.)  
  
TnM: Now wasn't that great? In fact, I'm going to give Miaka 10 zillion points.  
  
Tamahome: What about us?  
  
TnM: You guys get to play another game!  
  
Seishis: *groans*  
  
TnM: I know, isn't it fun ^-^? Let's move on to game called 'Hollywood Director'. This is for Hotohori, Tamahome, and Tasuki. Chichiri you are the director of the scene and the rest of you act out a scene. Chichiri keeps interrupting, having the others act the scene out in styles written on pieces of paper given to him. The scene is Tasuki and Tamahome you are the actors playing two people, who are driving a car and they accidentally crash into each other. Hotohori, you are the cop who comes along to see what the problem was. Now go ahead and begin.  
  
(Tasuki and Tamahome are pretending they're driving a car and backing up. They then crash into each other. Tasuki goes down and crashes into TnM's desk.)  
  
Tasuki: *little kid voice* Ow! You hit me! Why did you do that, you big bully!  
  
Tamahome: Oh, I'm so sorry! I-I didn't see-  
  
Tasuki: You broke my arm! How could you do something like that?!  
  
Tamahome: I-Is there something wrong with your voice?!  
  
Tasuki: When you crashed into me you made it go higher!  
  
(Hotohori comes in pretending to drive a police motorcycle)  
  
Hotohori: *comes to a halt on his motorcycle* What seems to be the problem?  
  
Tamahome: Well, officer I was-  
  
Hotohori: Hold on. *pretends to hit Tasuki with police stick*  
  
Tasuki: *pretends to get hit * Ow! Ow! Ow! *falls over* Why did you do that?! You bully!  
  
Chichiri: *interrupts* No! Cut! Cut! Cut, no da!  
  
(Tamahome, Hotohori, and Tasuki stops what they were doing.)  
  
Chichiri: I think it was William Shakespeare who said, 'You all are crap!' no da!  
  
Tamahome, Hotohori, and Tasuki: *looks sad*  
  
Chichiri: I know, how about we do this scene in slow motion! That's right, in slow motion! Action! *walks away*  
  
(Tasuki and Tamahome does the same thing from before except in slow motion. The two then crashed into each other, and slowly fall down. Tasuki tumbles around in slow motion, to make it look like he was hit hard.)  
  
Tasuki: *in little kid voice* OW! Why did you do that?!  
  
Tamahome: I'm sorry I didn't see you!  
  
Tasuki: *pretends to fire a gun at Tamahome in slow motion*  
  
Tamahome: Oh no!  
  
(Tamahome does a little rip off from the Matrix and dodges the 'bullets'. Hotohori comes in, riding his motorcycle in slow motion.)  
  
Hotohori: *slowly comes to a halt* What seems to be the problem? *takes out police stick and whacks Tasuki*  
  
Tasuki: *slowly pretends he is being hit* Ow! That hurt! *punches Hotohori in slow motion*  
  
Chichiri: *interrupts* NO! CUT! CUT! *points to Tamahome* You're crap! *points at Tasuki* You're crap! *point to Hotohori* You were okay!  
  
Hotohori: *beams*  
  
Chichiri: Let's try something different. I've won an Oscar award before, no da.  
  
Hotohori: *pretends to take out Oscar award* I got one too.  
  
Tasuki: *does the same* So do I!  
  
Tamahome: Me too!  
  
Chichiri: Yes I know, everyone has one, no da! Now, how about we do this scene as Frat Boys! That's perfect, do it as college Frat Boys! Action! *walks off*  
  
(Tasuki and Tamahome ram into each other, get back up, and laugh like drunken idiots.)  
  
Tamahome: *surfer accent* Ow! That hurt dude! *laughs like an idiot*  
  
Tasuki: *laughs* Yeah! Want to do it again?!  
  
Tamahome: Okay!  
  
(They ram into each other again and laugh like idiots.)  
  
Tasuki: HAHAHA! Dude! I think you broke my arm! AHAHAHAHA! COOL!  
  
(Hotohori comes in on his motorcycle, driving like crazy, and laughing stupidly.)  
  
Hotohori: WOO! WHASSUP DUDES! *crashes into a wall*  
  
Tamahome: Dude, you crashed into a wall! *laughs*  
  
Hotohori: *comes back* Yeah, that was far out! Hold on. *whacks Tasuki with stick*  
  
Tasuki: *laughs while he's getting hit* AHAHAHAHA! That's funny!  
  
All three: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Chichiri: NO! CUT! You all are still crap, no da! What we need is passion! Yes, do it passionately! ACTION!  
  
(Tasuki and Tamahome slowly ram into each other, and moaned passionately when they hit.)  
  
TnM: O_O;;;; *presses buzzer repeatedly*  
  
(The four go back to their seats.)  
  
TnM: Okay that was very disturbing. It's time to announce the winner. Tamahome and Tasuki!  
  
Tamahome: *sarcastically* Yay.  
  
Tasuki: Same here.  
  
TnM: Now let's move on to our last game!  
  
Tamahome: Finally!  
  
Tasuki: It's about f**kin' time!  
  
Hotohori: Good, after this game I can check on my looks.  
  
Chichiri: I need to meditate.  
  
TnM: Okay, let's go to everyone's favorite game, HOEDOWN!  
  
Audience: *cheers and applause*  
  
TnM: Now what should our topic be?  
  
(Audience shout out suggestions.)  
  
Reikakku Bandit Girl: How about the guys sing about themselves?  
  
TnM: That's a good idea! Reikakku Bandit Girl, you're our new musician!  
  
Reikakku Bandit Girl: Yay! *sits in piano seat*  
  
TnM: By the way, I'm also going to change Chichiri's part!  
  
Reikakku Bandit Girl: It's okay! It's your fic!  
  
TnM: Good, now let's start!  
  
Reikakku Bandit Girl: *plays hoedown music*  
  
Audience: *claps to music*  
  
Chichiri: *sings* My name is Chichiri and I'm hardly ever down  
  
I'm always seen with a smile, and rarely a frown  
  
I'm a popular person and a wandering monk  
  
I only stay happy, because my past really stunk!  
  
Tamahome: I am Tamahome, and I like to collect money  
  
But I only collect it for my poor family  
  
I love Miaka, with all of my heart  
  
And it was because of my good looks that I got the main hero part!  
  
TnM: *starry eyed * You got that right, Tama-chan. *_*  
  
Hotohori: I'm called Hotohori, I'm very dignified  
  
I'm also very beautiful and never tell a lie  
  
The emperor of Kutou wanted me to die  
  
But I'm on this show, so I got to be alive!  
  
TnM: *cries* Why did Hotohori have to die?! *sniff*  
  
Tasuki: Hi my name is Tasuki, and I like to play with fire  
  
But torturing Tamahome is my true desire  
  
Whenever I see him, I burn him with my fan  
  
And it's really really fun to call him 'Obake-chan'!  
  
All: To call him 'Obake-chan'!!!!!!  
  
Tamahome: WHAT?! *slugs Tasuki*  
  
TnM: That's it for 'Whose line is it anyway?' Join us again when we have Nuriko and Amiboshi on the show!  
  
(Tamahome and Tasuki continue to brawl, and Tamahome accidentally knocks over the camera. The screen goes black.)  
  
The End...until the next chapter. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
A/N Please always review and review my other fics! We'll be back when we have Nuriko and Amiboshi on the show! 


	6. We're back with Nuriko and Amiboshi!

A/N Hello fellow authors! I'm so sorry for not updating sooner. To make it up, here is the next chapter. Enjoy!  
  
---*---  
  
(The camera focuses on TnM.)  
  
TnM: Good evening everyone and welcome to 'Whose line is it anyway.' Tonight's cast is 'I like to play the flute' Amiboshi! 'The gay cross dresser' Nuriko! 'Why the f*ck am I still here?!' Tasuki! 'Am I ever getting paid for this?' Tamahome! Moreover, I'm your host TnM. Come on down and let's have some fun!  
  
Audience: *cheers and applause*  
  
TnM: Welcome to the show where the points don't matter. That's right, they don't matter just like Nuriko's gender!  
  
Nuriko: Where's Hotohori-sama? You promised he be here!  
  
TnM: ^^; Calm down Nuriko. You'll get Hotohori when the shows over so be patient.  
  
Nuriko: *glares* You better.  
  
TnM: Anyway, let's go to our first game the 'Survival show'. This is four all four of you.  
  
The seishis: *all get up from seat*  
  
TnM: Here's how the game goes. Three people are contestants on a reality- based survival show set in a location suggested by the audience. The fourth is a host that oversees the ceremony where the contestants vote to determine who will be kicked out. Now where should the location be?  
  
Audience: *shout out suggestions*  
  
Audience member: In Tomo's bathroom!  
  
TnM: Okay, that's a good one. Nuriko, Tamahome, and Tasuki will be the contestants. Amiboshi will be the host. The location is in Tomo's bathroom. Now start.  
  
Amiboshi: *deep host like voice* We are down to our last three contestants. Since Tomo was so since he let us use his bathroom for this event. These brave young souls have stayed in this bathroom for 2 months in order to win 50 million dollars.  
  
(Nuriko is pretending to look in a medicine cabinet, and finds Tomo's makeup. He starts to apply it on his face. Tasuki is on the floor looking bored, and Tamahome pretends to sit on a toilet and reading a newspaper.)  
  
Tasuki: My god! I'm gonna go *beep* crazy if I don't get out of here soon! We've been sitting here eating nothing but soap bars, and Tomo's eye shadow!  
  
Tamahome: *walks up to the front of the camera* Geez, Tasuki is such whiner. He's been going on ranting that he's bored, and never gives me a moment of peace. He thinks he so macho too. *imitates Tasuki* I'm Tasuki and I think I'm so cool and blah, blah, blah...  
  
Tasuki: I can hear you, you know!  
  
Tamahome: *ignores him and goes back to where he is*  
  
Tasuki: *walks up close to the camera* That Tamahome is one greedy little bastard. Everyday he would always count his money to see if any of it was missing. Honestly, just because I'm a bandit doesn't mean he can go accusing me of stealing anything! Sometimes he would even kiss this little picture of his girlfriend when nobodies looking! How sick is that? And Tamahome, when you finally get to watch this on TV I just wanna say that you're a *beep* *beep* *beep*! So HA!  
  
Tamahome: *twitch* DIE! *tackles Tasuki and the two start to brawl*  
  
Nuriko: Hey! Hey, calm down you guys. Let's all just sit down and sing a cozy little song of 'Kumbayah'.  
  
Tasuki and Tamahome: Stay out of this gay boy!  
  
Nuriko: I said...*holds up TnM's desk dangerously* Let's sing a song...  
  
Tasuki and Tamahome: O_O; Uh...Kum ba yah, my lord, Kum ba yah...  
  
Nuriko: That's better. *put TnM's desk where it was*  
  
Amiboshi: It is now time for the voting. The three will now vote off on who will be booted out of Tomo's bathroom. So contestants it's time for you to vote on who goes.  
  
Nuriko: *walks up close to camera* I voted for Tasuki, because he makes me so angry...*demon voice* and I want to kill him...*normal voice* Tee-hee. ^_^ *goes back to where he was*  
  
Tasuki: *walks to camera* I voted off Nuriko. Plus, I think he wants to kill me! *goes back*  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Tamahome: I know 50 million dollars is a lot, but I voted for myself. I want to get the heck out of here!  
  
Amiboshi: Now let's see the votes. *looks at 'votes'* We got one vote for Nuriko, one vote for Tasuki, and one for Tamahome. *looks at Tamahome's vote weirdly* Tamahome this is in your handwriting.  
  
Tamahome: *sweating* Uh...  
  
Amiboshi: Anyway, you all lose. Goodbye!  
  
Nuriko: *looks at camera* Oh well, you win some you lose some. I least I got all of Tomo's makeup! *walks off*  
  
Tamahome: *looks at camera* It was fun while it lasted, and it's too bad I didn't win any of that precious money. *mutters* It's all Tasuki's fault. *walks off*  
  
Tasuki: *looks at camera* I'm not so mad at Tama for ruining my chance to win. I still think he's a prick though.  
  
Tamahome: -_-# *throws his chair at Tasuki*  
  
Tasuki: *is hit* Ow! @_@  
  
BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!  
  
TnM: Okay, I had to stop you before you caused more damage. We'll be back to 'Whose line is it anyway' so don't go anywhere! I will need suggestion on 'World worst', and Film, Theater, and Television Styles! So bring them in! 


	7. News flash and Film theater, and televis

A/N As promise, here is the brand spanking new chapter. Please enjoy and thank you for you suggestions! On with the fic!  
  
New games and more fun!  
  
---*---  
  
TnM: Hello and welcome back to the show where the points don't matter. Yup, it doesn't matter at all just like flute lessons are to Amiboshi.  
  
Amiboshi: *frowns*  
  
TnM: I'm kidding Ami-baby. Let's move on to a game called 'News Flash'. This is for Amiboshi, Tasuki, and Tamahome.  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
(The three seishis get out of their seats.)  
  
TnM: Now I will explain how the game works. Amiboshi and Tamahome are reporters in a studio. Tasuki is a reporter in the field. Tasuki has to stand in front of a green wall. That shade of green can be replaced electronically with video of a scene. Thanks to the monitors in the studio, everybody but Tasuki knows what scene is showing. With what Amiboshi and Tamahome in the studio say as Tasuki's only guide, Tasuki must guess the scene behind him.  
  
(Amiboshi and Tamahome sit on stools, and Tasuki stands in front of a large green screen with a microphone in his hand.)  
  
TnM: Whenever you boys are ready go ahead.  
  
Amiboshi: So how's your wife Tamahome?  
  
Tamahome: Oh, she just fine. How about your brother?  
  
Amiboshi: Still in the mental ward.  
  
Tamahome: Oh, that's too bad. Oh, we interrupt this program for a special bulletin from our reporter Tasuki.  
  
(Tasuki is in front of small scenes when Nuriko, Tamahome, and other people are knocking around Tasuki. You know, how Tasuki is always getting beat up in the FY series.)  
  
Tasuki: *doesn't know what's behind him* I-I can barely hear you guys! The screams of anguish are drowning you out!  
  
Tamahome: *sniggers* So Tasuki can you tell us how all this started?  
  
Tasuki: Yes, it started when the hit anime Rurouni Kenshin, was being dubbed in the US.  
  
Audience: *laughing*  
  
Tasuki: Then this great riot broke out.  
  
(The scene shows Nuriko punching Tasuki to the wall.)  
  
Amiboshi: *tries to hide his laugh* My Tasuki, this great event has really punched you in the face.  
  
Tasuki: *pretends to duck from something* It certainly did!  
  
Audience: *laughs harder*  
  
(The scene shows Tamahome punching Tasuki into orbit. The scene changes with Tasuki being beaten up by his horse. You know, when Tasuki stole his horse's carrot.)  
  
Amiboshi: Well, enough HORSING around. What are you going to do about that incredible blazing fire?  
  
TnM and Nuriko: *burst out laughing*  
  
(The scene changes with Tasuki being punched around by Chichiri and Nuriko.)  
  
Tasuki: Well, they just called the fire department, and any minute now, they'll put it out.  
  
Tamahome: Tasuki, do you feel that you are in any danger at all?  
  
Tasuki: Nah, this is nothing. The only time I'm in danger is when Nuriko is angry and knocking me around.  
  
Audience: *cheers and applause*  
  
*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*  
  
TnM: Okay Tasuki, can you guess where you are or what is happening?  
  
Tasuki: Everyone is beating me up.  
  
TnM: *presses buzzer* Correct!  
  
(The three go back to their seats.)  
  
TnM: Magnificent job you guys. A thousand points each, and Tasuki here is something for doing a great job. *hands Tasuki a hundred dollar bill*  
  
Tasuki: *takes it and eyes widen when he looks at it* Oh my god, it's real!  
  
Nuriko: What?! *looks at dollar bill*  
  
Amiboshi: What, I want to see!  
  
Tasuki: It's real! *shows it to everyone*  
  
Tamahome: Hold on, let me see that. *takes dollar bill and laughs* That's not a hundred dollar bill! *secretly puts in pocket*  
  
Tasuki: *gasp* He took my money!  
  
TnM: Tamahome give it back to him.  
  
Tamahome: *pouts and hands it back*  
  
Tasuki: *takes dollar and mutters* Greedy bastard...  
  
TnM: Okay, next game shall be 'Film, theater, and television styles'. This is for Nuriko, Tamahome, and Tasuki.  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
TnM: Here's how the game goes. You're going to act out a scene, but I'm going to make them adopt different film and television styles that our audience here is going to suggest to me. Now what I need from you is like styles of television shows or films or theater...  
  
(Audience shouts out suggestions.)  
  
Apple: Malibu's most wanted, and opera!  
  
TnM: *writes is down* Okay, what else?  
  
Sara: Badly dubbed anime!  
  
Water Sprite: The Matrix!  
  
TnM: *writes it down* Okay, I think I got everything. Now the scene is, Nuriko you work in a 7 eleven store, and Tasuki, a thief, tries to rob you.  
  
Tasuki: Why do I got to be the thief?  
  
TnM: *rolls eyes* You're a bandit.  
  
Tasuki: Oh, yeah.  
  
TnM: Anyway, and Tamahome is the policeman who comes to save the day. Ready and go!  
  
Nuriko: *standing around and pretending he is chewing gum*  
  
Tasuki: *comes in and points his finger at Nuriko* Put your hands up!  
  
Nuriko: EEEEK! Don't hurt me!  
  
Tasuki: Now give me all your money, a hotdog with everything except relish, and a cherry slushy!  
  
Nuriko: Do you want a large, medium, or small cup?  
  
Tasuki: Anything is fine!  
  
Tamahome: *jumps into the scene* Freeze! I got uh...jelly filled donut! Yeah, and I'm not afraid to use it!  
  
Tasuki: Oh yeah? Well, look it's Soi doing a striptease! *points*  
  
Tamahome: *looks where Tasuki is pointing* Huh? Where? Where?  
  
Tasuki: *knocks 'donut' out of Tamahome's hand* HA HA! Now you're unarmed!  
  
Tamahome: Oh yeah? Hey, is that Kouji dressed like a hooker?! *points*  
  
Tasuki: *turns* Huh?  
  
Kouji in the audience: *blinks* What?  
  
Tamahome: *knocks 'gun' out of Tasuki's hand and grabs it* HA HA!  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
TnM: Malibu's most wanted.  
  
Tasuki: Yeah, I'm Malibu's most wanted! Now give me yo cash!  
  
Nuriko: *Chinese accent* That won't be necessary, because I can just use this. *points finger at Tasuki pretending it's a gun* (a/n Sorry I don't remember the movie that well.)  
  
Tamahome: *comes in* What ta' hell are you doin' man? You ain't black now put yo Asian hands up!  
  
Tasuki: You ain't got nothing on me! *starts rapping* Yo, I'm on the run. I ain't haven't no fun. Ya'll make me feel like hot dog, without the bun.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
TnM: Opera.  
  
Tasuki: *singing* Give me all of your cash or else I'll shoot!  
  
Nuriko: *singing* Oh no! Please don't hurt me!  
  
Tamahome: *singing* Freeze! I got a jelly filled donut and I'm not afraid to use it!  
  
Tasuki: *points* Oh my god! What is that over there?!  
  
Tamahome: *looks at where he is pointing* WHERE?!  
  
Tasuki: *knocks out 'donut'* HAAA HAAA HAAA! Now you are unarmed!  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
TnM: Badly dubbed anime.  
  
Tasuki: Rekka Shinen!  
  
TnM: Not your anime.  
  
Tasuki: Hey, I'm Goku, will give me all your money?  
  
Nuriko: Hi Goku, I'm Sa-ker-a. I don't have any money, only Clow Cards. Maybe my friend Madison has some money.  
  
Tamahome: *annoying girly voice* Don't worry! The champion of justice is here! And in the name of the moon, I'll punish you.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
TnM: The Matrix.  
  
Tasuki: Now give me a slushy.  
  
Nuriko: Which one will you choose? The red or the blue slushy?  
  
Tamahome: *comes in* I am now entering the crime scene.  
  
Tasuki: *pretends to shoot 'gun' at Tamahome*  
  
Tamahome: *slowly leans back and dodges 'bullets'*  
  
*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*  
  
TnM: We'll be back to more 'Whose line is it anyway?'. So don't go anywhere!  
  
A/N Sorry, I'm having a writers block for the world's worst thing. This chapter isn't very good, but it'll do. Now you guys know what to do next. Push that little blue button at the bottom of the page and sent a review. You do that and I'll give you cookies. 


	8. World's worst, Scenes from a hat, and tw

A/N I'm so sorry you guys for not updating in such a long time. I got a little sidetracked, because I had to update my other fics and stuff. By the way, I've been working on some original fics on fictionpress.com I hope you can read and review them, but don't forget to review my other fics!  
  
TnM: Hello and welcome back to 'Whose line is it anyway?'. If you have never seen the show THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU READING THIS?  
  
Tamahome: *whines* I want to go home.  
  
Tasuki: I want some sake.  
  
Nuriko: I want my Hotohori-sama.  
  
Amiboshi: I want to die.  
  
TnM: I know what will cheer you people up! A new game!  
  
All four: *groans some more*  
  
TnM: Now let's all go to a game called 'World's worst'. This is for all four of you.  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
(All of them step down on the red step)  
  
TnM: Now, this is how the games goes. Each of you has to step down from the red step and give an example on the subject I give you. So I want you all to give me an example of the world's worst person to be stranded on a boat with.  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Tasuki: *steps down* Hey, meet my puppet Kouji, he's great at knock-knock jokes.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
(Tamahome steps down)  
  
Tamahome: *crazy look* Yeah, you look really pretty.  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Nuriko: *steps down and sings* Oh, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves!  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Amiboshi: *steps down* I twiddled the oars into toothpicks while you were asleep.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Tasuki: *steps down* I saw this yummy looking seagull flying by and I thought we could have him for lunch. So I shot him with the emergency flare gun!  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Amiboshi: *steps down* We passed an island an hour ago while you were asleep, and I didn't want to disturb you.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Tasuki: *about to step down*  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Tasuki: HEY!  
  
TnM: Kidding! ^-^  
  
Tasuki: *grumbles and steps down* Oh, I knew I shouldn't have eaten that burrito.  
  
Audience: *laughs harder*  
  
*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*  
  
TnM: Okay, a thousand points to all of you!  
  
Tamahome: Do we get money?!  
  
TnM: No.  
  
Tamahome: *pouts*  
  
TnM: Now let's go to game that you all have seen before 'Scenes from a hat'!  
  
Audience: *cheers*  
  
TnM: This is for everybody. I have a little hat here. And what we did before the show is we asked the audience to write some suggestions down for us. And we take some of these suggestions, the good ones, and we put them in a hat. All of the suggestions are their own. And I'm going to read them out, and see how many they can perform. Let's start out with "Comments that can get you a black eye".  
  
Tasuki: *gestures Tamahome to come down*  
  
Tamahome: *steps down*  
  
Tasuki: I slept with Miaka.  
  
Tamahome: *twitches and punches Tasuki*  
  
Tasuki: OW! I was kidding you bastard!  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Amiboshi: *steps down* Well honey, you don't look as fat as you did yesterday.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
Tamahome: *gestures Nuriko to come down*  
  
Nuriko: *steps down*  
  
Tamahome: *gulps* I'm gonna regret this. *points at his eye* I want you to punch me VERY HARD in the eye.  
  
Nuriko: ^_^ Okay! *punches Tamahome in the crotch*  
  
Tamahome: *keels over holding his damaged jewels* O_O  
  
Tasuki: Hehe...Looks like Tama's never gonna have kids.  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
TnM: 'Bad ways to greet the emperor of Konan'.  
  
Tasuki: *steps down* Pull my finger. *sticks out finger*  
  
Tamahome: *quickly recovers and steps down* Hey, guess who I am! *deeper voice* I'm so beautiful, it's scary.'  
  
Audience: *laughs*  
  
Hotohori in the audience: *very angry look*  
  
*BUZZ*  
  
TnM: 'World's worst teachers'.  
  
Nuriko: Hello, I'm Tomo and I will teach you how to laugh like me. KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!  
  
Amiboshi: *deep monotone voice* I'm Nakago and I'll be your teacher. Anyone who causes trouble will get a bad whipping. *makes a whipping noise*  
  
*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*  
  
(All the seishis go back to their seats.)  
  
TnM: Terrific and a hundred points to you guys, and Amiboshi gets two thousand for that impression of Nakago.  
  
Amiboshi: ^_^  
  
TnM: Okay, let's move on to a game called 'Two line vocabulary' this is for Tasuki, Amiboshi, and Tamahome.  
  
(The three step down.)  
  
TnM: Now, I'll explain how the game goes. You guys will be acting out a scene. Amiboshi can say whatever he wants, however, Tasuki and Tamahome can only say two sentences. Tasuki your lines are 'What the hell is that?' and 'Let's not go there.'  
  
Tasuki: *shrugs* I guess that doesn't sound so bad.  
  
TnM: Tamahome, your lines are 'Should I use my gun?' and 'Somebody needs a hug.'  
  
Tamahome: *raises eyebrow* Um...okay...  
  
TnM: The scene is that you three are sailing on a ship. Amiboshi, the captain, and his crew, Tasuki and Tamahome, are on a mission to sail to their enemy's territory so they could make peace. So, go on ahead.  
  
Amiboshi: *pretends he's steering a steering wheel* Any minute now and we'll be on land.  
  
Tasuki: *points* What the hell is that?  
  
Tamahome: *pretends to hold a gun* Should I use my gun?  
  
Amiboshi: No, no, that's nothing. Look, we just got to keep sailing until we reach our enemy's territory.  
  
Tasuki: Let's not go there!  
  
Amiboshi: We have to go there in order to have peace between our two countries.  
  
Tamahome: Oh, somebody needs a hug.  
  
Amiboshi: *hugs him* Uh, sure thanks. Oh wait, I see land!  
  
Tamahome: Should I use my gun?  
  
Amiboshi: No, there's no need for that! Now, Tasuki I want you to lower your anchor.  
  
Tasuki: *eyes widen in surprise* Whoa, let's not go there!  
  
Amiboshi: *annoyed* NO! I mean lower the anchor to stop the ship!  
  
Tamahome: Somebody needs a hug! *hugs Amiboshi*  
  
Amiboshi: *hugs back* Yeah, I love you too.  
  
Tasuki: *points* What the hell is that?  
  
Amiboshi: What? Oh my god, they're firing at us!  
  
Tamahome: Should I use my gun?  
  
Amiboshi: No, will you quit it with the guns?!  
  
Tamahome: *threateningly* Should I use my gun?  
  
Amiboshi: *fearfully* Okay, okay, I didn't mean to make you mad! It seems our enemy doesn't want peace, so Tasuki get the weapons.  
  
Tasuki: What the hell is that?  
  
Amiboshi: *groans* My god, what's the matter with you people! Tamahome, go get the weapons right now!  
  
Tamahome: *mumbles angrily* Geez, somebody needs a hug. *pretends to bring weapons to Amiboshi*  
  
Amiboshi: Tasuki, take the steering wheel while I load the weapons.  
  
Tasuki: *just stands there*  
  
Amiboshi: Well?  
  
Tasuki...What the hell is that?  
  
(Amiboshi falls over)  
  
Amiboshi: Uh-oh, they're firing cannons at us now! *pretends to duck from something*  
  
Tamahome: Should I use my gun?!  
  
Amiboshi: Yes, use your gun! Fire at them! Do anything!  
  
Tasuki: *pretends to cry* Let's not go there. *points upwards to heaven*  
  
Amiboshi: We are not going to heaven, okay? We can survive this IF YOU STUPID IDIOTS JUST LISTEN TO MY ORDERS!!!!!  
  
Tamahome: Somebody needs a-  
  
Amiboshi: I DON'T NEED A DAMN HUG!  
  
Tamahome and Tasuki: *cowers* O_O  
  
Amiboshi: You know what? Screw this, I'm getting out of here! *pretends to jump off ship*  
  
Tasuki: *turns to Tamahome with a confused look on face* What the hell was that?  
  
Tamahome: *shrugs* Somebody needs a hug?  
  
*BUZZ* BUZZ* *BUZZ*  
  
TnM: We'll be back with more 'Whose line is it anyway' so don't go anywhere. *evil look* I mean it...  
  
A/N Sorry, for the long update, but I assure you I'll try to update more recently. Anyway, read and review. You review and I will give you cookies! 


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